You may be a “Redneck Marine” if — Marine Jokes , Redneck Jokes — Funny Jokes
You may be a “Redneck Marine” if ~ Funny Jokes

You may be a “Redneck Marine” if

  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’re turned on by a woman who can change a Hummer tire.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you drive around a mall parking lot for fun.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your girlfriend has ever called YOUR parents “Ma and Pa”.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you still duct tape your gloves on.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever pruned your trees with a shotgun.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if someone says they spotted Bigfoot and you go buy tickets to the tractor pull.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think that the Marlboro Man is sexy.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you would really walk a mile just to get a Camel cigarette.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you consider duct tape and tarp straps necessities for auto body repair.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you raised the Confederate Flag in the bed of your USMC Attack Hummer whenever you would go into battle.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your whole family back home couldn’t wait for the Saturday night square dance.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you refer to your USMC Oshkosh Truck as if it had a legal first name.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever been given a gun as a present.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if flannel is your second favorite color next to Marine cammies.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you or one of your relatives is named Cletus.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandfather can sense a storm coming by a mysterious twitching in his knee.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the make, year, and color of your USMC Hummer are obscured by a layer of mud.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you collect bumper stickers for a hobby.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife has ever taken two pairs of shoes to a funeral: one pair to trudge through the wet Georgia red clay between the house and the pick’em up truck, and the other pair to wear at the funeral.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if there has ever been any gun parts, magazines, or ammunition stored on the window ledge of your kitchen.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma and sister frequently bath with the Hogs.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have ever worried more about the outbuildings freezing than your vehicles.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have ever had to get up quickly in the morning in order to let the goat out before she dropped raisins on the kitchen floor.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home your father would walk the cock like a dog.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife is the only one that the geese will allow into the laundry room.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if any of your children learned to make realistic animal noises before they learned to talk.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you had on several occasions to stop a leak in your flat bottom boat with gum and chewing tobacco.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have had to chase the water moccasins out of your boat while you are illegally gator hunting at night.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you are still paying for your wife’s last hair care professional appointment in weekly installments.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if all the fellows on the big garbage moving equipment recognize your wife…. and wave to her.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have ever removed the zoom scope from your deer rifle so you could voyeur the 12 year old girl next door.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have more than 2 used pampers rolling around in the back of your pick’em up truck.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have had sex on numerous occasions in the back of your USMC Hummer, species yet unidentified.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if more than one of your relatives have been arrested for having sex with farm animals.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have served more time in the Marine Corp Brig than in active service.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tried to shove a pugil-stick up your opponents ass.
  • You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have been arrested by the MP’s for spying in the Marine Women’s Shower.

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