- She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo.
- She considers chocolate a major FDA food group.
- You ask her what time it is, and she replies, "What do you mean I look fat?!"
- She makes you sleep on the couch because all the potato chips and cheese doodles have taken up your side of the bed.
- She puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom.
- Her jeans grow 2 sizes larger while her canine teeth grow 2 inches longer.
- She's developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360 degree circles.
- She retains more water than Lake Superior.
- She denies she's in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her semiautomatic and "chambers one."
- She buys you a new T-shirt-----with a bulls-eye on the front.
- You ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table and she says, "All I ever do is give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING?"
- She answers every question with the same answer, "Over my dead body!"
- She's more paranoid than O.J. Simpson in a Bruno Magli shoe store.
- She looks at you thru her thumb and index finger and makes the I'll squish your tiny head" gesture.
- She enrolls in the Lizzie Borden School of Charm.
- She orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken McNuggets, and then mauls the manager because they're out of Diet Coke.
- Everyone around her has an attitude problem .
- She is adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
- The dryer has shrunk every last pair of her jeans.
- You are suddenly agreeing to everything she says.
- The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
- Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
- She is convinced there's a God and he's male.
- She is counting down the days until menopause.
- She's sure that everyone is scheming to drive her crazy.
How a man can tell if a woman has PMS
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