Thomas, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the country club with an absolutely gorgeous and breathtakingly beautiful 25-year-old brunette. She is hanging on to his arm and listening intently to his every word.

His usual golf-playing partners and fellow members of the club are baffled and shocked. At their very first chance, they come to him and ask, "Thomas, how did you get the amazing trophy girlfriend?"

Thomas replies, "Girlfriend? She's not my girlfriend -- she's my wife."

Disbelieving him, they ask, "So how did you persuade her to marry you?"

"I lied about my age," he replies.

"What? Did you tell her you were only 50?"

Thomas smiles and says, "Nope, I told her I was 99."