Sex and Calories — Adult Jokes — Funny Jokes
Sex and Calories ~ Funny Jokes

Sex and Calories

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now, after original and proprietary research, they are proud to present the results:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent............ 12 Calories
Without her consent........ 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands............ 8 Calories
With one hand.............. 12 Calories
With your teeth.............85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection........... 6 Calories
Without an erection....... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.. 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary................ 52 Calories
69 lying down..............78 Calories
69 standing up........... 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow.............. 216 Calories
Her on top................ 524 Calories
Doggy Style............... 726 Calories
Donkey punch.............. 912 Calories

ORGASM:
Real..................112 Calories
False................ 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging........ 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.......36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately................816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are
20-29 years old........ 36 Calories
30-39 years............ 80 Calories
40-49 years.............1124 Calories
50-59 years........... 1972 Calories
60-69 years........... 2916 Calories
70 and over....Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly............ 32 Calories
In a hurry........ 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... ...............1218 Calories
With your spouse knocking at the door................. 5521 Calories =))

0 comments:

Post a Comment