- Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
- Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
- Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops over everything and then leaves.
- Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
- Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
- Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
- Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
- Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
- SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
- Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
- Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
- Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
- Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
- Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
- Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
- Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's work place.
- Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
- Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
- Chips and Salsa: Chips equals 3D hardware and salsa equals 3D software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
- Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
- GOOD Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
- Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
- Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the poop out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
- Uninstalled or Deinstalled - Euphemisms for being fired. Heard on the voice mail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
- Vulcan Nerve Pinch - The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.
Office Jargon
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