- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
- Just remember if it wasn't for gravity, we'd all fall off.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population.
- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
- The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
- The shinbone is a device for finding furniture.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
- Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
- I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
- When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Murphy's Real Laws
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