Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy — Men Jokes — Funny Jokes
Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy ~ Funny Jokes

Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
You know stuff about cars.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Monday Night Football.
You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars.
Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying.
All your orgasms are real.
You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go.
You understand why "Stripes" is a funny movie.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You never have to clean the toilet.
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
If you're 35 and single nobody notices.
You can write your name in the snow.
Flowers fix everything.
You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
You can eat a banana in public.
Foreplay is optional.
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the landlord is coming by.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking, "He must be mad at me."
The world is your urinal.
You get to jump up and slap stuff.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
One mood, all the time.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too yucky.
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
Same work...more pay.
Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
The remote is yours and yours alone.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
Bachelor parties whip ass over bridal showers.


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