HR Language........What they really mean.. — HR Jokes — Funny Jokes
HR Language........What they really mean.. ~ Funny Jokes

HR Language........What they really mean..

  • “COMPETITIVE SALARY” We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
  • “JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY” We have no time to train you.
  • “CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE” We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up.
  • “MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED” You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
  • “SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED” Some time each night and some time each weekend.
  • “DUTIES WILL VARY” Anyone in the office can boss you around.
  • “MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL” We have no quality control.
  • “CAREER-MINDED” Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
  • “APPLY IN PERSON” If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.
  • “NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE” We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
  • “SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE” You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
  • “PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST” You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
  • “REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS” You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
  • “GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS” Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

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