Dictionary Of New Slang — Adult Jokes — Funny Jokes
Dictionary Of New Slang ~ Funny Jokes

Dictionary Of New Slang

*AEROPLANE BLONDE: One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

*AUSSIE KISS: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

*BADLY PACKED KEBAB: A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia.

*BEER COAT: The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

*BEER COMPASS: The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from.

*BEER SCOOTER: The ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it i.e." I don't even remember getting home last night, I must have caught the beer scooter".

*BOBFOC: Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch

*BREAKING THE SEAL: Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

*BRITNEY SPEARS: Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britney's please"

*BRUCE LEE: Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).

*BUDGIE'S TONGUE: The female erection.

*DOUBLE-BASS: A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. (The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.)

*ETCH-A-SKETCH: Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.

*GOING FOR A MCSHIT: Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.

*GREYHOUND: A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

*HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT: A vigorous masturbation session.

*JOHNNY-NO-STARS: A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

*MILLENNIUM DOMES: The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually f-all in there worth seeing.

*MUMBLER: An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i. e. you can see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.

*MYSTERY BUS: The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

*MYSTERY TAXI: The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

*NELSON MANDELA: Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

*PEARL HARBOUR: Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbor" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

*PICASSO ARSE: A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

*SALAD DODGER: An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

*SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die

*SWAMP-DONKEY: A deeply unattractive woman.

*TART FUEL: Bottled Alco pops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

*TESTICULATING: Waving your arms around and talking bullocks

*TITANIC: A lady who goes down first time out.

*TODGER DODGER: A lesbian.

*UP ON BLOCKS: Menstruating i. e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e. g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".

*WANK SEANCE: During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched with disgust by your dead relatives.

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