100 Reasons To Be Glad You're A Man — Men Jokes — Funny Jokes
100 Reasons To Be Glad You're A Man ~ Funny Jokes

100 Reasons To Be Glad You're A Man

  1. You never get drunk as fast, as the girl you are chatting up !
  2. You can tell dirty jokes !
  3. You get dirty jokes !
  4. You can go topless in Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, without getting stoned !
  5. You go to bed with any number of women !
  6. You can play the video, whenever you wish !
  7. You are taller. Most of the time !
  8. Cricket, foot-ball, Golf, Tennis, Poker are important to live !
  9. Fat is a feminist issue !
  10. Bars and restaurants don't go quiet, when you walk in - alone !
  11. You can scratch your privates in public !
  12. You don't have to breast feed !
  13. Peeing in public, is perfectly acceptable !
  14. You don't have to remember where you have left things !
  15. Your records are in alphabetical order !
  16. You know exactly what curtains you want for your new house. They are the ones they have got in the nearest curtain shop !
  17. Ever heard the term " Unfit Father " ?
  18. Your Mum will always love you. In spite of everything !
  19. Every news agent is full of available partners - provided you can reach the top shelf !
  20. You can carry an over the shoulder courier bag on your back, without re-arranging your breasts !
  21. It really doesn't matter, if you can't stand up after midnight !
  22. You are far more likely to receive, than give oral sex !
  23. You have only a limited range of acceptable hairstyles, to choose from !
  24. And as you get older, you get less hair to worry about !
  25. You don't get patronised by policemen !
  26. If you wear a suit and tie, nobody will suspect you are a lesbian !
  27. You feel perfectly comfortable wearing clothes you wore yesterday and left on the floor all night !
  28. Even your best underwear, is relatively uncomplicated !
  29. As long as your Mum's still alive, you get your washing done at her place !
  30. Being treated like a sex object, isn't such a bad thing !
  31. Men rule the world !
  32. And women, live in it !
  33. You can whistle loudly in the street !
  34. You have absolutely no compunction about hiring a cleaning lady !
  35. You never have to wax your legs !
  36. You can eat a banana in public !
  37. You can pee standing up and wherever you want !
  38. Sex can be as quick, as you like !
  39. You don't have to wear make up !
  40. Your nails are always dry !
  41. You don't have to mentally grow up !
  42. You can become a Catholic priest and have unlimited free wine !
  43. A moustache, looks good on you !
  44. A beard, looks good on you !
  45. You get to wear comfortable shoes !
  46. You don't collapse in floods of tears, if your partner says you look fine !
  47. You can have a baby, without changing your wardrobe !
  48. Tights are totally out of the question !
  49. You can buy bananas and cucumbers, without getting embarrassed !
  50. You don't get angry, if your spouse forgets Valentine's Day !
  51. You never have to admit to, not knowing something !
  52. You can avoid bathing, shaving and ironing and merely be called eccentric !
  53. You don't have to sleep with the Boss. Unless you want to !
  54. You can climb trees, without exposing your undergarments !
  55. You can throw up in public !
  56. Facial wrinkles are called character lines !
  57. When you are past 80, your breasts don't interfere with your belt !
  58. You can totally avoid salads and it doesn't seem to harm you !
  59. You can take the dog for a walk and have a good break !
  60. Press ups are easier !
  61. You can discuss your flatulence with a certain pride !
  62. You can become a professional footballer !
  63. You can become a soldier and shoot foreigners !
  64. You get to eat enormous quantities of strange cheese !
  65. Bad hair day ? So what ???
  66. You just sort of know about country flags !
  67. You can open new bottles of tomato ketchup !
  68. Everyone loves a man in uniform !
  69. You remain optimistic about sport and sex !
  70. A 1972 Mercedes isn't just a car, for you !
  71. You have no trouble whatsoever, putting stuff off until tomorrow !
  72. You don't cry. Unless your team gets promoted, or wins something !
  73. You don't feel the need to read instruction manuals on equipment !
  74. A phone call only lasts a minute. Unless it's a particularly long and intricate Indian takeaway order !
  75. You're allowed to put things in your pockets !
  76. You don't have to throw things away, just because they're not new anymore !
  77. You're allowed to - in fact you're expected to - swear heavily !
  78. You can sit about smoking in Arab countries !
  79. Chocolate will never rule your life !
  80. You are expected to accidentally break things !
  81. If nobody fancies you, it's their problem !
  82. You do not find the need to get married !
  83. Your spouse will also earn a part of the money, to run your household !
  84. Your spouse will normally do whatever you wish, for you !
  85. You can drink beer and watch TV in the house, while the household shopping is being done !
  86. You can drink beer and watch TV in the house, while the food is getting prepared !
  87. You can drink beer and watch TV in the house, while the children are being washed, fed and taken care of !
  88. You can call your friends over for a party, without having to worry about food preparation !
  89. You can call your friends over for a party, without having to properly get dressed up !
  90. You can call your friends over for a party, even when your spouse is not in the mood, or tired !
  91. You can crack sarcastic jokes on your spouse, without considering her feelings !
  92. You can call your spouse over - for sex, during anytime of the day - irrespective of her mood !
  93. You can call your spouse over - for sex, during anytime of the day - irrespective of her need !
  94. You need not wear a negilgee to excite your spouse !
  95. You can expect your spouse to do a strip show, for you !
  96. You can have sex without any petting and fondling first !
  97. You can expect your spouse to perform oral sex, without doing the same for her !
  98. You can expect your spouse to ask your spouse to agree to all your perversions !
  99. You can have an orgasm, every single time that you have sex !
  100. You can go to sleep, the next minute - after an orgasm !


Post a Comment