A cucumber and a pickle are having a conversation and the pickle says to the cucumber, "You know my life really sucks. Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they sprinkle seasonings over me and stick me in a jar."

So the cucumber says. "Yeah, you think that's bad, whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they slice me up and put me over a salad."

So the penis is walking by and overhears their conversation and says,
"You think that your life is tough? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, they put a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark smelly room and make me do push ups until I throw up!!!"